On Monday Tamerlain and Dzhokhan Tsamaev planted two bombs near the finish line of the Boston Marathon. They detonated them. They killed three and injured hundreds. They got away, almost. Technology caught them. Cameras got their images. They thought they were home free. No. The pictures were enhanced and broadcast. The Marathon Mutants held up a Seven-Eleven. They got caught on security cameras. They hijacked a Mercedes SUV and told the driver they were the Marathon Bombers. They took his ATM card and withdrew $800. The SUV owner called the police and it wasn’t long before they were spotted. They got into a shootout. They tossed IEDs at their pursuers. Tamerlain got shot. His younger brother ran over him escaping. The authorities took Tamerlain to the hospital, though most of America would have opted just to leave him to the opossums and crows. Dzhokhan finally got spotted outside Cambridge. A home owner spotted blood on a boat he’d stored in his backyard. He looked inside, voila, Dzhokhan. the police had tightened around the neighborhood. A fart couldn’t escape, and didn’t. He’s in the hospital now getting the best care possible.
Tamerlain was married with kids. This was his second try at living in America. He screwed up the first time and went to live in Russia before trying again. Advice to his wife: Change your last name, never tell the kids, burn every picture you have of your husband, move to Colorado. As for his remains bury them in a lime pit and forget about him. I hope his brother survives so we can find out what the f**k he was thinking of. I hope he gets justice and the death penalty. I hope he doesn’t have to wait for it. I hope he suffers a h thousand times worse than his victims, and slowly.
One of the boys aunts in Toronto believes they were framed. By who? She believes the attacks were staged. Their father in Russia vehemently denies their guilt. Their mother says her sons are innocent. They didn’t tell her. No s**t. Mom was busted for lifting $1,624 worth of clothes from Lord and Taylor.
Here’s the problem, we let people into our country to find a better life and without exception they do, some to a great degree. It’s a good idea. Some don’t. They take advantage of the system, commit crimes and general are bad citizens. This could turn into fodder for people who’d really like to build a fifty foot wall around the borders and only let in white people who blend in.
This is from Saturday afternoon. Early news had Sen. McCain denying Miranda rights to Dzhokhan. He’s a naturalized American citizen. After Lincoln was shot Warhawk Republicans came out and wanted stricter sanctions against the South. Let’s remember where we are John. this isn’t the Sixties and we’re not in ‘Nam.
A note to the relatives of the suspects, television networks and political pundits left and right: Shut the f**k up. It’s over. We need time to breathe. If or when Dzhokhan gets out of the we’ll have a chance to find a motive and maybe where it began. NYT thinks the older brother sucked the kid into the plot.

Let’s pray for Sean Collier an MIT security cop who the brothers shot multiple times to the head as he sat in his car.

To future terrorists: Cities not to bomb
Boston; They’re waiting for some asshat to try again. this time the cops won’t catch the bomber, but the Charles River might.
New York; You’ll get lost and no one will give you directions out. If the bomb is discovered there a hundred tourists who got it on film
Chicago; Again you’ll get lost and they’re really, really aware of criminal activity.
Salt Lake City; You’ll stand out like a s**t stain on a white sheet.
Anywhere in California; They dealt with Manson, and they’ve got the death penalty’
Some states:
The entire South. They talk about seceding but if you f**k with the USofA they’re not averse to “disappearing” you
Texas: You’ve got to be insane.
New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada: Lots of desert. You could get “lost”
The Midwest (The Heartland): Think eternity in a cornfield.
Oregon, Washington: It’s rainy and you’ll eventually snap and kill yourself.
Idaho, North Dakota, South Dakota: This is really, really stupid.
New England: When you’re caught the Puritan comes out and before the execute you they’ll tell you what happens after.
See you tomorrow.