I’ve mentioned that I’ve joined dating sites. Two senior, two “normal”. Last week I talked about a woman I’d met on-line. She e-mailed me when I was done posting. It was a heartfelt message full of love. She was in Colorado on antiques business. She also worked in travel and hospitality. she was coming home. She had a request, “What was the airport in Connecticut?”. This was the last of a series of red flags I noticed and ignored. Now I was paying attention. Connecticut has only one main airport. She was supposed to live in New York and worked in travel. I printed our correspondence and read it, high-lighting it for inconsistencies. I was a jackass. Every message was a combination of someone telling me what I wanted to hear in terms of a person in love. Then there were parts that were constructed to grab my attention. A Christian woman who was curious about my sexual preferences. At first I let it pass. She returned the list of preferences. The hook was being set. She responded with answers that if they were true would make her the ideal mate. I read on. There were things I passed over because I was flattered by the attentions of a woman. I asked for pictures. She sent three of an attractive woman, happy and dressed for success. I sent a selfie and got way more compliments than it deserved. I was wandering into Fantasy Land. Yo know that stage of romance when you’re planning meetings, trysts and living together. Truthfully it was my fault, I’ve been alone for a while. As I read something popped out. At times Jessie, that was her name, wrote like someone who had a minimal command of English, yet there were parts that very literate. She mentioned God a lot, even though I’m listed as an “Other”. I began to love her. The thing was as I read the messages that Sunday, I felt used. Slowly at first but it all dawned on me. So, I sent her an e-mail. It started: “I said I never would hurt you. But this will. And it will hurt me.” I went on telling her I believed that she was manipulating me, being manipulated by possibly someone in her church was using her. They told her that I was a ticket to citizenship or permanent support. I wasn’t going to do that. Yes, I looked at the possibility of a relationship with sex involved and it looked really good. Common sense for the first time in my life kicked in at the right time. To put it simply, I bailed.

The other dating sites have offered me matches but I’m careful. Long distance romance, no possibility. A lot of pictures showing “assets”, no way. Pictures with yappy dogs, nuh uh. No picture, no chance. A lack of information, a lack of me. This might sound judgmental but everybody else is doing the same thing. If they’re not they should.

The ladies:
a) She’s a silver fox, between 55 and 70. She’s taken care of herself and has found herself alone. She’s looking for her counterpart who’ll commute from wherever they are to Florida.
b) Same age group and type, she’s looking for a male close to her age probably younger maybe 35 or so. She just hopes she won’t kill him.
c) This lady is on-site because she want’s company, hopefully marriage. She’s honest and might not attract all of the potential male suitors.
d) A lady that attracts me is the one who doesn’t know that she’s attractive. She’s been married or working for a long time and her family and those around her take her for granted. I’m not Mr. Wonderful but I’m willing to spend time with someone who, when treated with respect and love responds.
e) The last lady is the one who her grandchildren said “Grammy, you still look great at 70. Grandpa’s been dead for ten years and a dating site will find you to keep you company.” This is accompanied by a shudder by the viewer.

Oh yeah, Jessie. It almost hurt. I’ve been hurt, badly and seriously crashed afterwards. Not this time, I didn’t crash. Didn’t crawl into a bottle. I moved on. There’s somebody out there for me. We might not be an instant perfect match, but I’m willing to work at it. And I can love, despite what I’ve made myself believe.

See you in the funnies. Remember to be nice to a stranger.