I haven’t got my Darth Vader mask and cape from headquarters yet. They say it should take six to eight business days as there is a backlog at processing. It seems a lot of politicians are wanting their masks and capes. I stepped over into the Dark Side. It started last Saturday. I stopped at the wireless provider’s store to cancel a broadband contract that I had for a laptop that hides in my bedroom closet. I talked with Cheryl. She convinced me that I could get a perfectly good cell phone for a few dollars more than I a was already paying. She played with the computer and figured out what it would cost, less the phone. I found one I liked and the total was manageable. I felt the grasp of the Dark Side and bade her a fond good day and went grocery shopping. While shopping I noticed that the usual lettuce mix I buy was out of stock and I had to buy another. That night at dinner I discovered that 40% of the bag was taken up by dressing and bacon bits. To make a long story short, I was going to run out Monday at lunch. The Murph brought up the mail and I had a slip to pick up a package at the Post Office, on Monday. So Monday morning I went on errands. Got the package. Drove to the Stop and Shop. The car misbehaved. Instead of turning left into the S&S parking lot it turned right, and parked in front of the wireless store. I was inexorably drawn inside. Cheryl was sitting there, smiling, slightly diabolically, but somehow sweetly. I picked out a phone and had it activated, signed contracts and given tasks (mail in bar code with form for rebate, set up g-mail account). She kept smiling, I was beginning to like her, I think Eve had the same sentiments about the serpent after their first chat. I was thinking about approaching her for a date. Lettuce popped into my head and I said goodbye. I got my lettuce and went home. She had done most of the set-up and all I had to do was hook it up to my e-mail and read the pamphlet. By three that afternoon I was on-line trying to get a user’s manual. I got a phone number and talked to Greg who was as pleasant as Cheryl, I didn’t want to date him. He e-mailed me a copy of the user’s manual. It now resides in my Word file. I can make a call but e-mail and the camera still are just out of reach. Kind of how they got Anakin Skywalker. He didn’t become The Dark Menace of the cosmos in one day, it took time and training. For me it too just about one more day.

It took the next day to draw me inexorably in. It was Election Day. I went to the polls and for the first time in my life (may my poor deceased mother forgive me) I voted for a Republican. To understand, my mother was a Democrat and my father was a Republican. When I could register I went Independent mainly to piss off my father, mom had been gone nine years. Along the way I voted for Democrats and the occasional Libertarian. Being an Independent brought a windfall of political solicitations every November election. Everybody wanted me. I was the belle of the ball. I felt like a customer at a high class cat house with a discount coupon. A little sleazy but happy for the attention. The problem was that the present mayor had allowed things to revert to the old ways. You know, old men doing old man things and blocking any change. The candidate I voted for was a 26 year old daughter of a former candidate who told the voters that a young person should have a shot at the job. She’s the second woman mayor we’ve had and made state-wide news. We’ll… hold on there’s a knock at the door.

I’m back, it was an Imperial Storm Trooper with a big box. Apparently they deliver on Sunday. The cape fits good, can’t type with the gloves and can’t see through the mask. Oh yeah, Erin the new mayor. If she doesn’t work out, we can vote her out of office. I know a perfect candidate, people like uniforms, an apparent breathing disability and who is identifiable with power and control. Actually the uniform quite nice. And I think it might impress Cheryl.

See you in the funnies.