Lately I’ve noticed that I’ve been forgetting things like doctor’s appointments and errands I was supposed to run. I talked to my doctor about it. She listened but didn’t offer any advice. Maybe I’m supposed to accept the fact that I’m losing my mind. It bothers me. I can’t afford to lose too much. God didn’t give me a lot. I have a tendency to be overweight, I’m not good with women, I have an addictive personality, I’m socially inept and there’s other personal thing I’d rather not talk about. He did give me a brain. A real good one. I had a memory that was near eidetic, I could make leaps of inference and land correctly. I had sense memory. If I tasted something maybe twice, I could break the recipe down into its component parts and duplicate it. I could pick out that secret herb that your mother put in her Sunday gravy. It worked well when I cooked. I could steal recipes with ease. I collected books, not because of their value but I had a pack rat gene in me. I could pick up an one and read the first sentence. I’d know instantly if I’d read it. I collected comedy CDs. I knew the routines inside out. The music CDs were all familiar. Now it’s different. I’ve been rereading a book I enjoyed maybe ten or so years ago. Some parts are familiar. Others have a newness that only comes with reading a new book. The comedy CDs sneak up on me with punch lines that have disappeared. I’ve been listening to new music. New artists that cross my path. They’re a bit retro. Chanteuses singing love songs that would have been popular in the Forties. The pop music I listen to is mostly young women who are kicking in the doors with guurl music. I’m listening to female composers. Not classical, but jazz in its various incarnations. Right now this is nice. But I know that it will be gone. How soon? I don’t know. I want to know. I want to prepare. There’s sh** I’ve got to do. I’m doing things to kind of clean the slate. The aforesaid books are gone, all 800 pounds or so. I gave them away for free. My next project is to construct boxes. I’m going to load my CDs into the boxes and find someone who’ll take them away. There’s a crapload of cassettes that have to go. Unfinished sets of Harry Potter, Sara Paretsky, Anne Dillard and Merwyn Peake. He wrote the Gormaghast trilogy. I can’t remember if I’ve ever heard it. It’s coming down to the fact that if my brain is going to be scraped clean of memories, I’ll get rid of the physical detritus that goes with it. As for family pictures, I avoided having my picture taken. There’s a suitcase of pictures of my family going back before I joined. My nieces will get that. I’m scared. It’s Mother’s Day and I have a really hard time remembering what my mother looked like. My father is a bit clearer, but I don’t hold out a lot of hope for him. I miss them sometimes.

I took an on-line test. I got a badge. It’s appropriate

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Planet Quiz

Planet Quiz from <A

Here's an e-mail I got. I wrote about it in a prior post. Here's a link to a petition

I just signed the petition “Abercrombie & Fitch: Begin to sell XL and XXL sizes for women” on

It’s important. Will you sign it too? Here’s the link:



See you Wednesday. I screwed up as usual, the links didn’t take. Maybe it’s time to stop being clever.