Weather, Women in combat, Stevie Nicks, Hillary, How Lame

It’s colder than a welldigger’s ass out there. Most of the North/Central/Eastern part of the country is freezing. For all the people who were asking where winter was, it’s here. Now shut up. At least it’s not snowing. We’re supposed to get some Friday night into Saturday but the weather geek says it won’t amount to anything. Yep, that just about gives us a real good chance of getting knee-deep in snow by eight Saturday morning. I had plans of going to Target and the supermarket at nine this morning. It was too freakin’ cold. Two degrees without wind chill. I didn’t need that. I’m as hardy as the next guy but there’s a point where going out is just too macho. As a rule the forties brought out the guys in shorts who disregarded the chill and let the hair on their legs thicken. Today everybody was bundled up as if they’d never felt near or sub zero temperatures. On thing that might explain this is I’m in Connecticut which, if you’ve got a map, is at the bottom of the part of the country called New England. New Englanders are frequently portrayed as Down East Yankees from Maine or Southies from Boston. Those are stereotypes. The average New Englander doesn’t have a distinct accent. Most of us aren’t weather worn. A lot of us don’t give a crap about the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins or Patriots. We just feign empathy to keep from getting the crap kicked out of us by a rabid minority. All this being said, no matter how bad it was last winter, we forget. If you tattooed the low temps from the worst winters on our arms, we’d somehow let it slip our collective mind. As a member of the mass of New Englanders, I forget where I packed the sweaters and winter tops. I wait until December 1st. I’m not alone. People in Central US get blown to kingdom come at leastr once a year by tornados, they rebuild. Florida gets a major hurricane ass-kicking, they hang on. People in California live with the chance of becoming an island nation, they stay. Why? We’re Americans and Mother Nature isn’t going to whip our ass.

Women will be able to go into combat in the next few years. Good for them. Equality is nice, but when the military wouldn’t allow women to fight, two groups sprang up. First there were the women who believed that they belonged at home pumping out kids and feeding the breadwinner. The second were those who fought foe equality and wanted the whole enchillada. Now they’ve got it. I’m waiting for the next Phyllis Schafley to rise up and condemn the men who wouldn’t protect women from the mean old world.

I’ve been Yahooing and Googling images of Stevie Nicks. I don’t want to see her nude, or in a bikini or in whatever the search engine deems “hot”. I want to see her in blue jeans and a blouse. No cleavage, just her posing sans her witchy/Earth Mother/ rock goddess lace and froofraw. I know ther’s an attractive middle-aged woman under all of that. On a similar note, my favorite radio station WHCN 105.9 the River to pare back on Nicks/Buckingham Fleetwood Mac, Billy Joel, Elton John and assorted filler and replace them with Bonnie Raitt, Joan Baez, Tom Waits and other non-mainstream friendly artists.

I’m developing a crush on Hillary Clinton. Watching her testify, with glasses and Testifying Before Congess Suit got me thinking. Is intellegence beginning to trump beauty? I don’t know about her sense of humor, I suppose she has one, being married to Bill and all. She was once the First Lady and some on some men’s wish list. She hasn’t replaced anyone but has found a niche, one that comes with maturity but not with a grasp on who’s within reach.

Forever Lazy is lame. Buying two for $19.95 is lamer. Wearing them in public is beyond lame and extends into the need for confinement in an institution providing extended medication and possibly shock treatments.

Asshat of the year 2013 through 2020: Wayne Lapierre, Grand Poobah, public face, and dispenser of verbal fecal matter. To paraphrase: “The only reason they need a list is to tax them (weapons) or take them away.”

See you on Friday.