This is for KS. You know who you are.

Gather round kiddies, Uncle Tom is gonna tell you a story. It’s about a man who liked being seen but not being touched. In a city by the sea a young boy was born to parents who were not poor but tried to instill basic values into their child. They got him the best education money could buy. All the philosophy, ethics and fine arts were lost on the boy. This was because he had orange hair. When the other children in his school began teasing him, he begged his father to give him money to change the color of his hair. His father refused. Instead he told the boy if he wanted to change his hair color he would have to pay for it by himself. The boy set out to make the money. He bought old bicycles from other children and had them repaired and refinished and sold them to other children as if they were new. He made enough money to pay his barber to color his hair. At school the children were stunned by the new color, a rich, chestnut-brown. The boy wore his new hair proudly and told everybody who would listen that he, and he alone was the master of his hair color. One day, while waiting for his ride home, he hated waiting, a cloudburst washed the dye out of his hair and the orange was brighter than ever. When his ride came the furious boy hollered at his driver “You’re fired!!!”. The driver laughed inwardly because his paycheck was signed by the boy’s father.  The boy was amazed the next morning when the driver picked him up for school. He hollered louder than before “You’re fired!!!!!!” The driver said “Okay” and began to drive away. The boy realized he would have to walk to school. He told the driver that he wasn’t fired and wished to be driven to school. As an aside he told the driver to watch his step or he’ be fired, this time for real. At school he was teased for his orange hair and no matter how hard he tried to have the other children shut up they taunted him louder. He ran away and hid. He hid in a broom closet. He was not alone. A blonde girl at school who was teased because she wasn’t born in the city by the sea but in a foreign land the boy had never heard of. She was frightened by the boy. She’d never seen someone with orange hair outside the circus. She tried to scream but the boy gave her a dollar and she remained quiet.  She asked the boy. “What’s your name?” The boy answered “Donald.” He was in love because she spoke with an accent that sounded like the maids and gardener. The difference was she went to school with her. His parents were wealthy so her parents were wealthy. They were made for each another. She told him her name was Katinka. She kissed him.

They were seen together on the playground. He had his driver drop her off. They hid in the broom closet and kissed. He never let her talk. She just had to look pretty and stand next to him. The kids teased him less but when his back was turned he could hear whispers that said “Orange hair”. When it came time for the boy to go on to high school, his parents sent him to a prep school. Katinka couldn’t come. He teased less because the other boys at school knew Donald’s father was getting richer by the week. They respected that. They called him Donald, not Don or Donny, Donald. He liked the sound of it. He met girls from the school across town. Their parents were wealthy and sent them to a finishing school so they could become excellent wives for wealthy husbands. They were also taught not to do anything that would embarrass their family name. Donald and his friends at prep school were told the same thing but they didn’t listen. They pulled pranks that sometimes angered the people who lived around the school. Their parent’s money made sure embarrassing things did not make the papers, especially hazing new students. Donald was good at this. He was not hazed because the money his father gave to the school kept the older  students from doing strange, bad things to him. He was able to do strange, bad things to students who were new or somehow made him angry. A phone call to his father could make a potential investment disappear. Donald’s father didn’t like doing things his son wanted done, but business was business. Donald got into a good college. He spent time taking courses that taught him to make more money. He dated the right girls, as long as they were blond and were willing to speak with an accent when they were parking. When a new blond became available Donald dated her. He forgot them all when he graduated. He was ready to go into business. About that time his father died. He left his money to Donald as long as his mother would remain a moral compass for him. Donald’s father made his money owning the source of products. Donald knew that this was w fine way to grow his wealth but real estate was more fun.

Donald went into the business of buying and selling buildings and land. He owned apartment buildings. He never lived in them. He had his father’s house. His wealth grew. He was content. All he needed was a family to admire his prowess at buying and selling property. He dated women who came highly recommended. They tired of him when he wanted them to speak with a foreign accent in bed. He searched for a woman who would fulfill all of his dreams. He found her. She came from a country near the one Katinka came from. She was Miss somewhere, Donald didn’t care. For the first time he was happy. He had a wife who would bear him a family and he had his money. She bore him a son and a daughter. Neither had orange hair. Donald was relieved. His own hair had begun to thin and he gave up the swept back look for a comb-over. He really wanted leonine hair so when it turned white he would look like an Old Testament prophet. He planned on being “The Prophet of Wall Street”. He would advise presidents and people would hang on his every word hoping to glean a tasty morsel of financial wisdom. His children and his fortune grew. He grew, tired of his wife. She no longer was exotic enough for him. He had an affair. His wife found out and it cost him money. She became a celebrity because she was married to Donald. She didn’t say bad things about Donald because her source of money would be cut off. And, she wanted to see her children. A lot they cared. Donald married his mistress. She looked lovely on his arm. She was blond and really didn’t want to be anything else but Mrs. Donald. She spent his money but it didn’t bother him. He made money daily. He owned hotels in various cities. They didn’t really make tons of money but everyone who stayed at one knew Donald owned it. There were dark clouds on the horizon. The hotels one by one began to lose money. Donald had to declare bankruptcy. He didn’t lose a lot of his own money because all the lawyers and corporate wizards he’d hired insulated him. His name was in the headlines. He tried being a kingmaker. He really wanted to be president but the electorate never seemed to like the candidates he helped. When he tried to run himself, he was made fun of. The press and comedians made fun of his hair. It didn’t turn distinguished gray but remained orange. Brighter possibly than when he was teased at school. He somehow became resigned to having orange hair even though there was a “Priority Research Fund” that received millions every year  in the hopes of coming up with a way to gradually turn his hair to a reasonable brown. Lacking that it inquired into ways to turn everyone else’s hair orange.

He divorced his second wife. She got money and fifteen minutes of celebrity. He dated foreign women who had an accent like Katinka but weren’t likely to take a lot of his money. He bought a television show. He sat at the head of a long oak desk and gave tasks for contestants to do. If they failed, Donald would look at them and intone “You’re fired!” The winner got a chance to work for Donald. Sometimes celebrities came on his show. They were given tasks that were borderline demeaning. The winner got money to give to the charity of their choice. Donald particularly liked this because he could “fire” people who were not as rich as he but were better liked by the people. People watched the show. These were people who really didn’t feel all that good about themselves. His show hit one demographic; stand up comedians. They made fun of his hair and the fact Donald took himself waaaay too seriously. His show was not cancelled because the network that carried it was afraid that Donald would do something rash, like say buy the network. In the years there were elections Donald would pontificate about issues the people were supposed to care about. When a presidential election came around he’s feint and make like he was going to run. He got a lot of support. It was from people who didn’t have as much money as he had by a long sight. They thought that because he was rich, he was smart and would bring the country around to their way of thinking. He issued “news bites” hinting he had “secret” information. This was to get attention, but the people forgot all the other “ideas” he had and even hardened cynics waited for Donald to spring a major surprise on the public. After a while the people stopped listening to his announcements and even the most hard-core rabid supporters defected to seemingly saner messiah. Donald began to refer to himself as an object. He made himself “The Donald”. He lived high above the city by the sea howling at the masses who passed below his fortress. They couldn’t hear him and most of them had forgotten him. But he had a plan…

The above is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is simply coincidence. Okay KS