Words and Numbers 119/ I might have been wrong, Ross Perot, dilation, the battery hunt, Pick Your Earworm
Posted on October 3, 2012
Never one to stubbornly stand by a belief when it might be wrong I’d like to say that maybe I was wrong about Bill O’Reilly’s two books about the assassinations of Lincoln and Kennedy. Actually there are three. After reading parts of chapters it seems Bill stayed with history and kept his political views out of the text. I’m sorry. If you were going to buy the books and were put off by my remarks, all I can say is buy the book and decide for yourself. I still think we’ve got too many books about the killings but who am I to talk, my night book is The Alamo by John Meyers Meyers. It was published first in 1948 and he used a lot of sources and I have a
sick fascination with Davy Crockett since seeing him go down swinging in the Disney version, having the Duke play him and Billy Bob Thornton’s turn in coonskin cap. When I’m done with that I go to my second history itch, the battle of Gettysburg. I’ve got Jeff Shaara’s Killer Angels on tap.
Also about night books, I’m trying to get some on cassette since I’ve finally got a player that doesn’t eat tapes and get the stammers halfway through the tape. The Alamo is on cassette. I’ve got the Gormenghast Trilogy that I bought a long time ago after I thought I saw it on some renegade cable channel. As above I might be wrong.
Ross Perot is back!!! Yaay!!! Just when we thought all the walking parodies had filled the media, Ross pops up. Now he’s worried that America is a “sitting duck” for a takeover by some unnamed global power. We’ve been ripe for takeover since Day One. We’ve had nutjobs inside and outside the government who made sense to somebody. He’s called Washington “fiscal drunks” . Ross, we know that. Every election cycle we give one of the two main parties a chance to run the show and we find out that one is as incompetent as the other. Yes, every now and again we get a charismatic leader but often as not we get a guy who’s ideas look real good on paper but either he doesn’t have Congress or something bigger pops up on the horizon. I think Ross is warning us of short guys in snap brim hats, wearing shades and sporting a crew cut with a million or so walking around cash. Look familiar Ross?
Had my yearly eye exam. Marked it on the calendar October 5. Then I found the letter on Monday of this week. Panicked big time. The appointment was for the second and I missed it. Left the letter out so I could call the next morning apologize and reschedule. Tuesday morning I sip juice and try to find the number for the clinic. I pick up the letter, look for the number, read the line in bold type and it says, Tuesday October 2 at 2:45. Safe!!! I read on. I’m going to get my pupils dilated. Oh joy. They didn’t do it last time so I was due. Actually I like the eye clinic at the VA. The residents are usually young and female and are not prone to berating me like Primary Care and Cardio. I deserve the lecture because I’m usually in violation of one or more of the regulations set down to keep me in good health. The eye doctor was efficient. The appointment was at 2:45 and the place closed at 4. She gave me drops, had me read with my TV glasses and looked inside.
Then I got the dilation drops. I sat in the waiting room watching afternoon TV as my eyes got light sensitive. I was called back and she looked inside again and told me there was no bleeding BLEEDING? and my eyes were in reasonable shape. I thanked her and avoided the faux pas most middle-aged men make; I didn’t even think of asking her out, not even as a joke. It was a overcast rainy day so I was spared wearing the dorky shades. Driving back was interesting, headlights had halos and it was a bit brighter than it was when I came in. I got home safely because middle age had taught me to stay close to the speed limit and ignore getting flipped off by grannies in 72 Buicks. I got home and went on-line, a bit of advice; DON’T DO IT. My eyes freaked and closing them and napping for an hour or so sprang to mind. They got better by 5 and now I await my next trip in a year.
Did you ever have a battery powered device die and you find out it takes one of those disk batteries. My digital scale went batshit and doing some quick mental backpedaling I discovered that I’d had the thing for at least three years (I could only remember back that far) and tried to pry out the battery. It took a steak knife and and a near miss finger slice. I got the sucker out and left it out. I nearly forgot it when I went to Stop and Shop on Wednesday. Got the essentials out of the way and went to the battery aisle. No batteries. A lot of window treatments and baby needs, but no batteries. WTF do they put up those signs telling you what’s in the aisle? Started losing it. Not a good sign. Wandered about until I found The Battery Station at the end of an aisle. Pulled out the battery and scoured the racks for my battery. AA, no. AAA,no. Hearing aid,no. A brain flash! Ask the manager. I wait while she escorts an elderly gentleman who escaped the home and when she comes back she escorts me to The Battery Station. She searches. At the bottom, in the back a disk battery. Success!! Wrong size. Boooo. She suggests a pharmacy or Radio Shack. On the way home stop at RiteAid. Can’t find it. In a senseless move not unlike a dying bull trying to gore the matador I ask a checkout clerk. They’re the only people you can ask as the elves stock the shelves after midnight. He hunts the rack. No luck, until. Way at the bottom behind some hearing aid batteries is one battery that matches mine. Huzzzah!!! (I always wanted to use that word. Sounds like a blog in the works) I bring it home and drop it into the scale. Nothing. I turn it over. It freakin’ works. Now I can weigh my portions. That’s another story.Back by popular demand (mine), it’s Pick Your Earworm!! Yaay!!!! (Peppy organ music applause). This week we’ve got two heavy weights: The original Man In Black, Roy Orbison vs. The Queen of Covers, Linda Ronstadt. The song: Blue Bayou:
Okay, now vote
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This is a drill for November 4.
Support your local food bank. Read to a kid. Adopt a shelter pet. Don’t let the candidates BS you. Be nice to somebody you don’t like (excluding politicians).
See you on Friday.