The Connecticut primaries are over. Now we can get down to some serious mud-slinging. Linda McMahon won the Republican nomination. No surprise, she spent enough money. The thing is this year might be a replay of her last run, BIG BUCKS and second place. She’s probably home tonight trying on her new tights and practicing dirty moves on hubby Vince. Chris Murphy won the Democrat side. It was a case of who told the most convincing lies. Hell, we expect that. Let the festivities begin. Eighty five days of real nasty campaigning ahead. Hope the electorate will be able to sift through the bullshit.

Paul Ryan vs Joe Biden: Joe made the first gaffe, he was glad to be in North Carolina. He was in Virginia. I’ll give Ryan a while. He’s in control of his mouth, for now. When it gets down and dirty The Teacher will put his foot in his mouth. He’s got a lot to explain to seniors in swing states to the underprivileged and to whats left of the Republican middle, which is conservative but they don’t wear tin foil hats. Think Obama Republican.

Why you should adopt a shelter pet:

1) They really apreciate it.

2) They have no preconcived notions about you.

3) Their love is unconditional.

4) They’re usually a mixed breed, this is good, a lot of conditions show up in pure breds.

5) They’re spaye or neutered.

6) They’ll usually pick you.

On another topis: The third party/ outsider politcian

1) They appreciate your vote.

2) Their preconcived notions haven’t rooted into their brain, they’ll listen.

3) Their love is unsonditional, at first.

4) They’ve already absorbed enough crotch shots spaying or neutering is redundant.

5) If their policies are a mixed bag, they’re open to compromise and won’t fillibuster every time a bill of theirs is opposed.

6) They’ve earned your vote, they stood out against the political machine.

Both of the above are my opinion. You might wind up with a bay at the moon, bullgoose loony. It’s a crap shoot.

Merriam Webster Collegiate added a hundred new words. I picked out mine, earworm.

NBC blows a big one. The whiz kids at the peacock network premiered a new show tonight, Stars Earn Stripes. C list celebrities being put through the paces by a crew of hard ass military men. What could be wrong? We turn to that esteemed media pundit and television critic Bishop Desmond Tutu. He’s heading up a group of Nobel Laureates who defined the show as “barely veilrd efforts to make war and it multitudinous costs more palatable to the public” It’s time to call your local NBC affiliate and tell him there are limits to what they can try to stuff into our heads. Be polite, tell them you won’t patronize the sponsors and you’ll pass around a petition and go on-line and tell others to do the same.

My earworm, Holiday Road by Lindsey Buckingham. Damn you Twizzlers.

Another reason for making sure Paul Ryan shouldn’t get the Veep job. He’s in love with Ayn Rand. When I took philosophy the class had to pick a philosopher and do ten minutes on him, or in my case her. My topic, Somebody has to speak for the Devil. I did ten minutes on Ayn baby and killed. The class was used to kindly people who were looking out for the majority of humankind. They weren’t ready for Gordon Gecko’s mother. Nora Ephron did an excellent essay The Fountainhead Revisited . It’s in Wallflower at the Orgy. Read it, the essay, not the book. If you read the book as an adult you’ll notice a bit favoritism to producers or like me totally miss the point and think Howard Roark is a dandy person.

TALK TO ME. PICK YOUR NEW FAVORITE WORD. IF YOUR CANDIDATE LOST FIND ANOTHER ONE WHO BELIEVES THE SAME THINGS YOU DO. IT’S SUMMER AND KIDS IN NEED ARE MISSING THEIR ONLY HEALTY MEAL, THE ONE THAT THE GOVERNMENT PROGRAM SUPPLIES THEM. DON’T THINK IT CAN’T HAPPEN TO YOU. EVERYBODY IS A LAYOFF AWAY FROM WELFARE. ADOPT A SHELTER POLITICIAN. AND NOW THAT THE POLITICIANS ARE PLAYING FOR REAL PAY ATTENTION!!!! THEY’RE GOING TO TRY TO BULLSHIT YOU, CALL THEM OM IT WHEN YOU HEAR IT.

See you on Friday.