After my trip to Barnes and Noble I took my Nook home and set in reading The Other Log Of Phileas Fogg by Phillip Jose Farmer. I knew about him, his Riverworld series had me carrying the books around and reading every chance I got. We parted company. Reais not my strong suit. I’m lured away by the promise of another story that will snare me. I’m doing it now. The other book in the queue is Wallflower  At The Orgy by Nora Ephron. My attention span sucks but the thing that causes multibook affairs is that bugaboo of all the Boomers; a need to be entertained by the next thing. I’ve toasted two remotes already in the futile search for entertainin g TV. Books are another thing, yeah, there’s the need for something new is strong but it’s what I want to become. I don’t want to write literature, I love pot-boiler, pulp fiction like the stuff that was published in Black Mask, The Shadow Magazine and all those dime magazines that went from Dickens to the Fifties. I want to be a writer like Walter Gibson, Erle  Stanley Gardner, Raymond Chandler and Dashell Hammit. To many writers want to become authors, aiming for the cream. I want to put out a book of stories that anyone can pick up and find a story they like. I read so many books coming up, I have story ideas rattling around in the back of my brain. I want to write them all.

Every weekday after the noon news on WFSB, I switch to the Biography Channel, an offshoot of A&E. They only show two biographies a day and devote the rest of the time to Celebrity Ghost Stories. Paranormal Adventures and a plethora of other journies into Physic World. The truth is I hate them. People talking about the time they booked a room in an alleged haunted inn abd were scared shitless by the specter of a travelling salesman who hanged himself in the room you’re going to spend your night. At noon, Biography trots out the venerable City Confidential series followed by two shots of Notorious. I’m in heaven. For those of you who’ve missed it City Confidential is a series of shows each showing a crime, usually murder, in a U.S. city. Some viewing hints: They’re going to interview the alleged or convicted criminal. None of them are guilty even if the crime was videotaped across the dtreet from the Police Station. The “mayor” of the featured small town is the town character. He’s usually interviewed in a bar. Women are of the ilk thay were engaged to, married to, slep[t with or lived next door to the criminal. (I’m going to stop using alleged or cinvicted. We all know) The show is narrated by a voice that adds gravitas to the segues between witnesses. He’s not below sneaking in some wordplay. They update the fate of the main players in case you want to correspond. Notorious is a show about crime and criminals who’ve made the news. Ted Bundy, Son of Sam,Jeffery Dahmer and Sam Shepard have made appearances. It’s worth watching because it allows you to decompress after the crime tour of the U.S. If you’ve missed one, don’t worry, they’ll get to it again. After a while you start to get acquainted with the criminals and sometimes second guess them. We all could commit murder after the fact with 20/20 hindsight.

My new favorite cooking show is America’s Test Kitchen. It’s hosted by Christopher Kimball. a Vermont Yankee. He’s backed up by Bridget Lancaster, Julia Collin Davidson, Yvonne Ruprtl, Erin McMurrer and Becky Hayes. They deconstruct recipes and reformulate them so anybody with pots and pans, a stove and oven, some knives and the ability to chop parsley without losing a finger can feed their family decent meals. They have equipment testings and taste testings where Mr. Kimball plays the naif to testers (It’s quarter to one in the morning and their names are lost to a senior moment) Watch it. They put out a nifty magazine that has many of the recipes. The only drawback is they LOVE the internet and are apt to pass your e-mail address along. This might be due to the fact the magazine carries no ads.

My lame invention As Seen On TV: The GoJo, a hands free device for your cell phone. That kid that replaced Billy Mays shills it. It’s a headband you wear over the top of your head and clip your cell to. You’ll look like a dork. If you can’t scream into your device while holding to your ear, stick to landlines.

A link:http://www.motherjones.com/media/2008/09/mojo-interview-bill-maher

TALK TO ME, SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FOOD BANK, ADOPT A SHELTER PET, TELL YOUR KIDS THEY’RE DOING GREAT, SPAY OR NEUTER YOUR LOCAL POLITICIAN, LOOK INTO THIRD AND FOURTH PARTIES, REMEMBER GUN CONTROL DOES NOT MEAN ABOLITION OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT, JUST SANITY, IF SOMEBODY GETS INTO YOUR FACE ABOUT IT MENTION WISCONSIN AND COLORADO, REMEMBER: YOU COUNT, BIG MONEY CAN’T BEAT A LOT OF THE SMALL PEOPLE.

See you on Monday.